Courageous I must be,
take action for myself.
Bold I must be,
walk right through fear.
Focused I must be,
trusting the process.
Adventurous I must be,
the inner child living
the excitement she needs.
Creative I must be,
mind floating in her universe.
Healthy I must be,
separating food from emotions.
Kind I must be,
everyone is fighting their battles.
Friendly I must be,
so life can have meaning.
A lover I must be,
people I meet,
and places I see.
Put It To Rest is a new publication looking for first-person stories and poems pertaining to mental health:
A few years ago, I did a job interview for a marketing agency.
Then I went for a second one. By the end of the third interview, I was confident about the job. My gut feeling was right.
Then the director told me the salary, and my smile froze.
In an instant, my heart was racing, and my hands were shaking. A rush of anger traveled to my brain. I swallowed a few times, waiting for him to finish. Then, with a fake smile on my face, I promised to answer by the end of the day.
My mind was…
I woke up and ran to the window. The whiteness was blinding my eyes.
It was snowing when I slept the night before, and now over 40 cm of snow covered the yard. Excited, I ran to my parent’s bedroom, waking up my mom. “Mom, please wake up. I need to eat breakfast and wear my winter clothes. It is snowing, and my friends are waiting for me outside”.
My mom looked at the clock and replied, “Rina, it is 7:30 in the morning, no one is waiting for you outside. I will get up soon and make you breakfast”.
27th flushed out my emotional toxicity,
opening doors for 28th to glow.
Hard it was,
scared I was,
challenged all the cells in me,
pushing me to up my game.
It tested my limits quite a few times,
it killed the vibes I felt from the world,
it left me confused spinning in a loop.
But I stayed there,
crawled myself to the chair,
there was no solution
but showing up every day.
I stood in front of the screen,
strong as a Viking guarding his ship,
though sometimes you could see
face flooded with tears.
I nurtured my body…
No matter how low life can go, I will always find some fun.
I live alone, and I love it.
I enjoy spending time alone and having fun with myself. I love my freedom and have no responsibility for someone else. I can stay in my apartment for days and not bother to go out.
But the pandemic hit, and my life flew out of the window.
I lost my ability to go anywhere, anytime. I could not meet my friends without feeling guilty. I could not dance my emotions out in techno parties. Work — which I was so…
Time-blocking helped me create a work-life balance.
When I started freelancing, instead of 9 to 5, I had 24/7. It was fun in the beginning. I could work whenever or wherever I wanted. But with more tight deadlines, I ended up working day and night. I lost sense of what was life and what was work. I was taking care of myself less and forgot to meet with friends.
Obviously, it ended with burnout.
I schedule all my tasks in three blocks: morning, afternoon, evening. Every night as I prepare the next day’s plan, I schedule tasks within each block…
You show up, but the words won’t speak to you. Staying on a task for 30 minutes is almost impossible. You skip a few commitments.
And that’s okay.
Everybody has unproductive days. We do because we are humans, not machines. We are not an algorithm that keeps on improving itself. We govern our lives with feelings and complicated emotions. They drive our moods, our reactions every day.
It can be a call we are expecting or an argument at work. It can be a sick family member or the worry of who we are in life. …
I had a threesome with pain and joy,
It brought me to the life I enjoy.
A little hurt, a little smile,
But in the end, it was fine.
They were both nice, though I didn’t expect,
Making me go low to reach my higher self.
Penetrating my soul while touching my body,
They made me love the person I was becoming.
They brought me to tears then, made me shine,
Mirroring me to the life I want.
They cared for me, though from different angles
Making me be my guardian angel.
Threesome, which felt too much,
Like I was the one that needed to get out.
Pain and joy played with me for long,
A threesome that made me sing the freedom song.
Currently daydreaming the time I am dancing with 400 people by my side