Why is it so hard to wish for a call?
You were not a hugger,
but I crave your hug right now.
You were not a sugarcoatter,
but I miss your sweet voice right now.
I may not have called you every day,
but I wish to hear your voice right now.
I wish I could call you,
tell you all the fun I had,
I wish I could call you,
hear all about your day.
But I can’t, and
it hurts more than
all the pain I endured in life,
combined.
I wish I could tell you,
you are still young at 60,
I wish I could tell you,
You are still beautiful at 60,
I wish I could tell you,
wrinkles look good on you.
I wish I could see you
blow an army of candles,
I wish I could see you
hug your nieces tightly,
I wish I could congratulate you
with colorful flowers,
but here I am
white flowers in my hand,
tears in my eyes,
and,
a burning pain in my soul,
hoping,
your next birthday,
will be a lighter stone for my heart.
I can’t tell you I love you, or
I miss you so much,
but I can
pray for your soul,
hold dear to the memories we made,
and be happy about the fun we had.
Your memory is an open tab in my mind,
running in the background 24/7,
from the day you left,
until the day I meet you again.
Mama, I love you,
Till my final breath in this world,
And then, even more,
when I am next to you.
Happy birthday mom!
